If an alien were to stand in the middle of the Quad, or maybe in the center of Lenoir Dining Hall, they’d hear some of the most exquisite diction of our species. Someone is “geekin” on the escalator.

Biologists in particular are writing their papers in a less formal style. We are not supposed to use first-person pronouns, and contractions aren’t allowed. These rules also discourage unattended ...